school. pop culture. my life in general. and chuck bass.

oh? June 1, 2009

Filed under: school — motherchuckerr @ 5:01 pm
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This is another proof that my teacher, Mrs F, is secretly a menopausal donkey dressed in wrinkly Jew skin, complimented by a “hair-loss” haircut.

Today, because I arrived late – as usual – I didn’t realize that I was supposed to finish the remaining of my Citizen Kane essay. Thanks to Achok (whom I personally think is the black girl who gets away with anything, she has this black magic powers, seriously), I was aware of my responsibily and informed Mrs F about the matter.

I said, “Hey, I haven’t finished that Citizen Kane essay too, can I do it now?”

Mrs. F stared at me for a while, checked her folder, and then said, “Oh? I thought you finished it.”

“No, (bitch) I haven’t,” I grunted.

Mrs. F pulled my essay out of her folder and looked at it. She, looking away, said, “But I’ve marked it already. It was brilliant.”

I looked at my papers and I see this ugly piece of writing on it, with cheap red ink that says, “48/50”

Seriously, what kind of a teacher are you? I haven’t even finished the bloody essay yet! Didn’t you realize that shit?!

Oh but thanks for the A+ anyway.  You’re still a failure though, Mrs F, my essay was like poopy shit. And you give THAT a 48? Wow. She’s beyond stupid eh.


Citizen Kane May 11, 2009

Filed under: school — motherchuckerr @ 9:46 am
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We were in English, with Mrs. F, and we’re about to watch the epic film noir titled ‘Citizen Kane’ for the second time. As usual, everyone (by everyone I mean my mate Achok and me) starts hatin’ on the teach. Strands of ‘fail’ conversations regarding the topic really made my day. Here, enjoy.

Everyone was complaining how they couldn’t remember far back, about the movie.

Mrs. F : (with a really annoying tone) You kids should get a copy from the video shop or something, honestly, they’re only ten, fifteen bucks a pop!

Achok: Yeah but that’s still money, you know! (followed by my giggle)

Mrs. F: (directly to Achok) YOU spend dollars and dollars buying clothes and make ups and CDs, oh whatever you kids buy these days…

Achok: (calmly) Well I buy my clothes in second hand shops.

Mrs. F: (mocking) Yeah but that’s still money, you know!

Achok: (scoff) In my case, it’s worth it (my laughter couldn’t be contained anymore)

Mrs. F then handed in some photocopied papers, supposedly about the movie.

Me: (looking at the handout) You spelled Citizen Kane wrong.

Mrs. F: That’s nonsense, what do you mean I (looking at the handout)… oh.

She wrote CITZEN KANE.

Mrs. F decided that it’s time to play the goddamn DVD already.

They were showing a footage of some liquid iron or coal.. being poured into a bowl in some factory.

Achok: Oh my God, is that milk?

Mrs. F stopped the movie after two scenes and tried to make us answer her lame questions regarding the movie.

Mrs. F: Okay, question one, what is Xanadu?

Me: Isn’t that like that song by Olivia Newton John?

Mrs. F: (got excited and carried away, starts singing Xanadu)

After 45 minutes of laughable torture…

Mrs. F: Wait. Is anyone missing? (looking around the class)

Me: Yeah, Nakisah isn’t here.

Mrs. F: Oops. (runs down the corridor, realizing she marked the role wrong)

In simpler words: Mrs. F can’t teach for shit.