Motherchuckerr!

school. pop culture. my life in general. and chuck bass.

Bed Romp May 23, 2009

Filed under: television — motherchuckerr @ 12:44 am
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GossipGirlWallp

Nice and hot, right? I agree too, it was after all my old wallpaper. And on other notes, did you notice that none of the guys’ arms are ‘muscly’ or at least toned (as male tv stars’ arms should be?) Badgley, Westwick and Crawford get away with it because they’re playing characters from (or hangs out with people from) ‘The Upper East Side’, pfft – as if you’d wear a wife-beater there. But it wouldn’t hurt for once in a while yeah? Maybe an episode when they get lost in Jersey? :P

Then this morning, I stumbled upon this:

For those of you who are not aware – that’s a promo for Queer as Folk from.. (I don’t know, let me google it..) 2004.

There you go. Any thoughts? I’m personally dissatisfied, because Gossip Girl is nothing like Queer as Folk (for starters it has no same-sex relationships whatsoever in the storylines, although if Chuck and Nate could, okay i’ll stop). Oh and the fact that GG stole this “let’s share a bed cuz it looks sexy” concept. Bed Romp!

Then the internet and my brain decided to fuck with me again, I remembered another promo of a show that shares such concept. In fact, I might just think that One Tree Hill is the pioneer of this “concept”. Hmm maybe? This came to me from memory, I saw like, 2 episodes of the first season (because of Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush, dang it, at that time I thought they’re gonna be big) but I didn’t enjoy it.

Oh and I checked, this is from early 2003. So One Tree Hill wins.. for now.

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more citizen kane moments May 13, 2009

Filed under: school — motherchuckerr @ 7:11 am
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As predicted, our “english” class is still struggling with finishing Citizen Kane on dvd. And Mrs. F never fails to impress the students. Well, technically, her failure excites us, but, whatever.

This is the scene where the newspaper reporter was in a library, and was talking to the “librarian”.

Mrs. F: (pausing the movie) Look at her, she‘s a librarian, she doesn’t even look like a woman! Her haircut and her voice, all the features are very unladylike.. I’m not even sure if she’s a woman to begin…

Me: (cutting her preach) Damn tranny!

The whole class went silent. Partly because they don’t understand what ‘tranny’ meant, others are actually dignified enough to not make jokes about some abnormal minority groups.

Mrs. F: (to everyone’s surprise) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, good one!

She was the only one laughing. And it lasted for a whole minute. 60 fucking seconds of a true jewish laughter.


Our fellow classmate, Ray was asking a question.

Ray: (pointing at the old and the young Charles Kane) Are they the same actors?

Mrs. F: Why yes! Isn’t it incredible, make up can do a lot of wonderful things! It’s a wonder. Look at vogue magazine, and…

Me: (cutting, again) That ain’t make up. That’s photoshop.

Mrs. F: (annoyed) What?!

Me: Photoshop. You know. Using computers and all. (everyone started laughing)

Mrs. F: Gosh, I knew that, I’m not that old.

But you are Mrs. F, you smell like graveyards dirt.

Later, Mrs. F tried to explain what ‘foreground’ meant, even though nobody cared.

Mrs. F: (struggling) Foreground is, uh, gosh, it will be easier if I had a picture or a portrait…

Me: (showing her this picture i had inside my diary) I’ve got a picture. Look.

Mrs. F: (shrugs off) No, that’s not good enough.

Me: Excuse me?!

Mrs. F: (not showing any “sorry face”) I’m sorry, who is that anyway?

Me: (totally pissed off because she dissed my Tyra) My MOTHER!

Ah, I should’ve said YOUR mother, Mrs. F.

 

the vapponator May 12, 2009

Filed under: acts of fail,school — motherchuckerr @ 8:55 am
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We have this male specimen.. uh.. I mean, this dude, who is apparently, supposed to be our new media teacher. He’s terribly young and awkward and he performs acts of fail on a regular basis.

His recent stunts were this magical, private world for the class on the internet called wikispaces. His enthusiasm towards the lame, so-called “new technology” amuses the whole media class.

Vappy or “the vapponator” has been tweaking around wikispaces, here’s a preview of how sad and disturbing it is…

media

There’s a creepy Dexter Morgan (from the awesome tv hit Dexter, a psychopath, basically, if you’re not aware of his existence) holding a knife (yes, a WEAPON, in a school-related site) looking over you while you’re checking your overdue homework for the week.

Also, there is this annoying gif of a tryhard azn fail ninja carving ‘I LOVE MEDIA’ into some wall. WTF?

The homepage ends in glorious failure with a weird, irrelevant quote from some dickhead we don’t know or care about. Oh, and also the fact that the vapponator will be away due to “professional development’ training. Haha, i think everyone agrees that he desperately needs it.

media 2

Again, we are greeted with Dexter, hmm, maybe it’s a subliminal message from Vappy to force us to do homework? If we don’t then he’ll chop us up, Bay Harbor Butcher style, mothafuka!

Oh, this FAQ page is totally hilarious. We can see here how the vapponator tries to impersonate Dolly Doctor (thanks for the reference and info, http://twitter.com/adriiiiiii). Read it and LOL.

 

swine flu bullshit May 11, 2009

Filed under: acts of fail — motherchuckerr @ 10:27 am
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You’ll still get the same figure if you change Malaria to AIDS, even INFLUENZA.

Fuck you swine flu, such a poser. You wanna be cool like SARS and BIRD FLU but you can’t, you’re too fat.

 

You shouldn’t have babies.

Filed under: acts of fail — motherchuckerr @ 10:11 am
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Honestly. This whole ‘teen pregnancy’ thing worries me. Especially when these kinda videos pop out. Please stop producing future arseholes!

 

Citizen Kane

Filed under: school — motherchuckerr @ 9:46 am
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We were in English, with Mrs. F, and we’re about to watch the epic film noir titled ‘Citizen Kane’ for the second time. As usual, everyone (by everyone I mean my mate Achok and me) starts hatin’ on the teach. Strands of ‘fail’ conversations regarding the topic really made my day. Here, enjoy.


Everyone was complaining how they couldn’t remember far back, about the movie.

Mrs. F : (with a really annoying tone) You kids should get a copy from the video shop or something, honestly, they’re only ten, fifteen bucks a pop!

Achok: Yeah but that’s still money, you know! (followed by my giggle)

Mrs. F: (directly to Achok) YOU spend dollars and dollars buying clothes and make ups and CDs, oh whatever you kids buy these days…

Achok: (calmly) Well I buy my clothes in second hand shops.

Mrs. F: (mocking) Yeah but that’s still money, you know!

Achok: (scoff) In my case, it’s worth it (my laughter couldn’t be contained anymore)


Mrs. F then handed in some photocopied papers, supposedly about the movie.

Me: (looking at the handout) You spelled Citizen Kane wrong.

Mrs. F: That’s nonsense, what do you mean I (looking at the handout)… oh.

She wrote CITZEN KANE.


Mrs. F decided that it’s time to play the goddamn DVD already.

They were showing a footage of some liquid iron or coal.. being poured into a bowl in some factory.

Achok: Oh my God, is that milk?

Mrs. F stopped the movie after two scenes and tried to make us answer her lame questions regarding the movie.

Mrs. F: Okay, question one, what is Xanadu?

Me: Isn’t that like that song by Olivia Newton John?

Mrs. F: (got excited and carried away, starts singing Xanadu)


After 45 minutes of laughable torture…

Mrs. F: Wait. Is anyone missing? (looking around the class)

Me: Yeah, Nakisah isn’t here.

Mrs. F: Oops. (runs down the corridor, realizing she marked the role wrong)


In simpler words: Mrs. F can’t teach for shit.